The past few days have been a blur. Too much work, too little time for myself and others. I know this will end eventually, and I can`t wait to get everything over with. I`m left behind with a long list of things to accomplish and requirements to finish. I`d give anything for summer to finally come.
I know it`s kind of a selfish thought, especially for those who`ve been working so hard for everything going on right now. Don`t get me wrong though, `cause I really do believe I`ve been working my ass off almost as hard as the majority. That`s where all the unfairness of life steps in.
Honestly, I really do think I`ve been sacrificing so much already. I know so many people would benefit from this in the end. But it`s so hard knowing that you and the very few of those willing to work, are doing everything they can, and some people just remain so ungrateful with all their complains. However, I do think that`s normal, something unavoidable.
What really bothers me is the fact that again, I`ve been working hard, and it does seem to me that I get absolutely nothing in return. I hate that I`m complaining so much right now, but I really can`t help it. Prom is really stressing me out, to say the least. Being part of the production of it all, I was able to see how from nothing, this year`s prom is really turning into something that I hope would be appreciated not only by the committee members, but by all my batch mates. But then again, you can`t please everyone. I know it`s wrong to ask for rewards, but how bad could it have been to give in to any of what I wanted: dream venue, dream dress, and most importantly, dream date. I didn`t get any of those, though I`ve worked, and still am working very hard.
Then there`s Pepe & Will, which will be shown a week prior to prom. I`ve been feeling everyone`s stress lately, but I really don`t mind. It`s the productive kind of stress - the kind that brings people places. I`m hoping for a really amazing production, as again, everyone has worked so hard! However, I`m saddened by the fact that I`d be missing what could be two of its most important shows because of previous engagements.
I can`t really say I was forced or obliged to say yes, `cause at first, I really wanted to go to this said previous engagement. But then as it`s fast approaching, I feel the extreme lack of energy to do so, and I can`t really explain why. Then there`s this whole “then reality hits” kind of moment, where someone gets your hopes up, only for it to be brought down by someone else. I mean, isn`t it already too big a sacrifice on my part to miss Pepe & Will`s two most important shows? It sucks to know that I`ll be missing these for something that didn`t meet my expectations, caused by someone else.
Bottom line of this all is: why am I giving up so many things for reasons I don`t even know, when in the end, I don`t even get a small fraction of my wants? Kind of selfish, I know, but again, I really can`t help it.
January was amazing, February has just started. Anticipating more of these “life sucks” kind of days, though I`m really hoping better things come from all these. I`m hoping that one of these days, I get even just a small reward from all these tireless efforts I`ve been exerting.

…hopefully.